you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
