no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
