I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize