dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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