I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
