I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
please don't ironically join a cult
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