Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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