porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
