The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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