So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
