I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
