I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
