ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
