Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
