I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
