Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
