If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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