...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
