in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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