we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
