Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
