The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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