So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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