oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
