Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
