Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
