we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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