a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
