if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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