I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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