i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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