she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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