She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
