Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize