I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
