Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
