what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They took my balls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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