his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
