Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
