I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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