Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
