I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
