no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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