direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
