Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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