the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
