people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
