their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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