we have officially lost it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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