this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
