i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
