In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
