Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
