I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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