Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
