If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
