Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
