The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
