I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
