I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize