Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize