you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
