i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
