I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize