i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
