elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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