You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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