and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
