it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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