It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
