I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize