community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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