I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
