just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
