Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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