I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
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