party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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