First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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