i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
