I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
